google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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