Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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