It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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