I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize