I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
