im drinking this country out of the recession.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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