I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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