Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
