Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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