do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
