Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
