Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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