quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.