I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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