Don't make out with my wife yet
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
