Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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