Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
