Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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