would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
