I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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