your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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