Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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