don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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