I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
