PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
