Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
