If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
