Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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