You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
