I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
