Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
