I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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