all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!