i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.