do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
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I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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