LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon