You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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