i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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