maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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