great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
