We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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