Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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