I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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