u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
