It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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