Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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