Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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