Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
