Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
