I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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