Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
