I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
