Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize