Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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