a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
