thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
