sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
