i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
