But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
this beer tastes like vomit already
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
