Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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