I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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