Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
