the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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