I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm at about main and main street
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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