I wanna bring you to show and tell
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
