it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize