Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
