Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize